I came across this product on the NeXtten catalog website. I’ve been receiving their catalog for the last year or so. I must admit that I’ve never ordered anything from them, although they do have some entertaining items and advertising.

This one for the Brassage is probably the most entertaining

They list the following features:

• Massaging Feature–Gentle micro-massage stimulates lymphatic flow, promoting healthy breast tissue
• Comfort Cushions–Brassage “cushions” eliminate tight-fitting panels and relieves pressure from the underwire
• Earth-friendly–Made with 100% Organic cotton
• LETflow® Technology

The funniest part about the NeXtten Brassage is that the way their website is designed, they have a big button under each image stating “click to enlarge”. Now, my first instinct was that when I clicked the button, her boobs would get bigger. However, this is not the case. You just get a large version of the main product image.

They are also making some interesting claims about the breasts’ lymphatic system. I’d love to consider myself an expert on breastology, so I wasn’t aware that massaging the breasts would enhance a woman’s immune system’s natural ability to cleanse the breast tissue of harmful genotoxins and other waste products.

I wonder if there are any positions available as a braseuse? I mean, this is really a public service for women. As an honorable, red-blooded American male, I feel it is my duty to provide women with this valuable service of removing harmful genotoxins from their breasts, free of charge. I’m getting braseuse t-shirt and business cards made up immediately!